Cool fun fact: I’ve always had a recipe for French Onion Soup, but it suuUuUuuUuuck3d. Here’s hoping no one ever made it, but if you did (why??), my dude, I apologize. So, I’ve decided to update my outdated recipe with a brand new one. Look how it sparkles with my cute mini Le Creuset cocettes! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO CUTE? Yeah, don’t answer that, of course, you have. I probably should’ve posted a more summer-friendly recipe because who wants to eat piping hot soup right now? Well, you know what? I live in New England & this damn region doesn’t obey the laws of seasons. Seasons are light suggestions. Calendar says it’s summer? EL OH EL, try again. New England says it’s still autumn so it’s cold & raining, but tomorrow it’ll be hot, humid, & thundering. Drunk seasons are fun! Yay! (Help me).
soup
I’ve had this post queued up for almost a year, but I guess I forgot to post it. Whoops. A couple of summers ago, my family & I went on a trip to Thailand & Vietnam. At the end of our trip, we volunteered with MEMO in Vietnam. We offered scholarships to children to help keep them off the streets & stay in school, raised money for open heart surgery for young children, played with orphans, & gave thousands of strangers free healthcare. It was an amazing experience. We were exhausted, always full, sweaty, itchy from being victimized by mosquitos, & of course, many of us got food poisoning. Yay.
Our trip started off with riches–5 star hotels, white cloth dining, fully functioning air conditioning in our hotel rooms, real showers, deliciously decadent buffets–to rags. There were hotels we stayed at that simply had a drain in the middle of the bathroom floor, a non-existent shower. That’s right. There weren’t showers in some of these hotels, there was simply a shower head attached to a wall next to the toilet. The contrast was an unforgettable experience. I don’t think I’ll ever forget when my MEMO roomie Katie & I were thoroughly entertained by our eclectic neon ceiling lights in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. It dawned on us as we fumbled with the normal lights with the neon ones that the hotel we were staying was the type you’d take your escort/mistress to. It could’ve been worse, but after seeing hair & stains on the bedsheets & pillows, I decided sleeping on the ground was somehow more hygienic. Don’t question my logic, it helped me sleep that night. Nevertheless, we made it out alive, sans contracting an STI too! We all experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, but I think all of us walked away humbled, yet proud of the good we did. We helped positively change people’s lives, many of whom don’t even know our names nor have any ties to us. We were just a bunch of MEMOers helping out complete strangers.
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Wow, Tiffany, a “pho pun”, how original. I know, right? Have I devolved into dad jokes? Never, because I’m too hilarious for that. I just had to, because I’m finally publishing my 100% vegan pho recipe. Told you I’d never forget you. I took a really long hiatus, but I’m present, I promise. I even added a bunch of new albums in the gallery – granted half of them are from last year. It’s been a busy year, get off my back, y’all!! I’ll get around to my European photos by the end of this month…I hope.. Anyway, back to the pho: whether you’re a meat eater or not, it’s a scrumptious recipe, so you can take your reservations & judgment & shove it right up your hairy nose holes. Pho is pronounced “fuh?” not “foe”. Source: I’m Vietnamese. There’s a question mark to indicate that you’re supposed to raise your voice as if you’re asking a question. In Vietnamese, pho has two question marks on the “O”, so trust me & lower your inquisitive eyebrow. If you’re an avid meat eater & think the idea of pho being vegan is absurd, you better swipe left right on out of here. Vietnam is known as one of the least religious countries in the world as its main “religion” aka folklore/cultural beliefs is heavily influenced by Taoism, Confucianism, & Buddhism. Many Buddhists are vegetarian/vegan, thus the meat-free versions of Vietnamese cuisine is 1 trillion times better than any quinoa kale salad you’ve ever had. There are lots of great vegetarian restaurants in Vietnam, so open your minddDdddD.
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One of the most physically annoying things about aging is not the wrinkles & fine lines visibly showing–get on those anti-aging serums, stay out of the sun, use sunblock, moisturize daily, get ahold of some Asian genes, etc–but that agonizing pain in the back of your mandible. You know the pain I’m talking about, right? That jerk wisdom tooth who’s popping up to say, “hey gurl, sup?” & your response is, “BYE FELICIA, DISAPPEAR.” That pain. Yeahhhh, so since I can only pop so many pills of Motrin before I destroy my liver & overdose, all my food choices have been solely categorized under, “can I feed this to a baby?” and “cannot feed to baby.” Thank goodness for my random craving for cháo (also known as congee or rice porridge) a few weeks ago because it’s so easy to make & I can eat it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Also, it falls under the, “10/10 can feed this to a baby.” I mean, it’s not exactly healthy to be exclusively eating it because rice is not going to fulfill the essential vitamin spectrum for a healthy body, but look, my mouth hurts to chew so I’m going to choose to slurp on rice porridge. That’s where the versatility comes into play though! Dressing up porridge with your favorite ingredients will help you get over the general boringness that is porridge.
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The first time I had matzo ball soup was at my friend Ben’s apartment in LA circa 2011. Ben was beside himself, upset that his matzo balls weren’t fluffy & that his broth wasn’t flavorful enough. He advised me for help, but all I could really do was tell him how to make his broth tastier (hint: salt). He ladled some soup in a bowl for me to try, repeatedly saying, “imagine these matzo balls are light & fluffy, not dense & hard like these. I messed up, so, I’m sorry I’m ruining your first matzo ball experience.” Since I never had it until that first slurp, I politely asked for seconds because I thought it was like chicken noodle soup, but with balls of matzo meal. I didn’t know what it should’ve tasted like, but I thoroughly enjoyed Ben’s failed matzo ball soup.
Moving forward a few years later when I started dating Josh, we made the soup together for the first time & our matzo balls turned out perfectly. To be fair, we “cheated” by using Streit’s Matzo Ball mix so it was guaranteed to come out fluffy every time. Ben, a former pro matzo ball maker, was still struggling to make a batch of good matzo balls that weren’t hard as rocks. I tried to figure out the science behind it & even adventured to make the balls from scratch. I had a few moments of failure, but finally, last year, I–the Vietnamese girl who only had it for the first time 3 years prior–produced a recipe to make the perfect fluffy, yet dense matzo ball soup. My recipe is so good that the balls don’t obliterate into mush when they hit the nearly boiling water. These babies will stay together & they’ll be fluffy, just like your Jewish grandmother made them. I shared my recipe with Ben before publishing it here, to which he’s confirmed success. Furthermore, I’ve made this recipe 3 times with 100% success & the Jewish boyfriend approves.