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Today I’m dedicating this post to a beloved foodie, whom I met during the first week of my freshman year in the high school cafeteria. This was where a large group of friends from various junior highs gathered on plastic & wooden tables, eating terrible public school lunches. I was the only one in the group that came from a private school who knew absolutely no one in my grade, yet I was welcomed to sit with them. While the group was very large, we had pockets of mini cliques. One of those cliques was a group of four: Kim, Viviane, Vy, & me. We had similar schedules, so we walked over to Vy’s house after school, waiting to get picked up by our parents. While we waited, we often made instant noodles & gushed over our attractive schoolmates, The OC, & celebrity gossip. We formed our own little girls clubhouse on Clubhouse Lane, bonding, laughing, & slurping complex carbohydrates. We called ourselves The Fatty 4 & dubbed our after school dates Noodle Parties.
As we got older, one by one, we obtained licenses to drive, which meant branching out beyond the realm of instant noodles. We ate sushi, shabu, Thai, Mexican, seafood, everything – we just ate everything. We almost always gathered at a restaurant to catch up & feed our bellies. We had a lot in common, but were also vastly different. We shared an ethnic heritage, an understanding of Vietnamese immigrant culture, but above all, we shared voracious appetites. We were foils of one another: Vy & I were more adept at planning while Kim & Viviane were much more spontaneous. Vy & I knew we wanted marriage & kids way down the road, while Kim & Viviane debated whether they could handle the commitment. Kim & Viviane were more likely to be the life of the party, while Vy & I approached others with caution. While we had many differences, ups & downs, we always reveled over great food & company. We had an appetite for adventure & ate & tried new food all the time. While I couldn’t tell you what Kim’s ultimate favorite food was, I can tell you that she certainly loved noodles, seafood, meat, & her vegetables…so pretty much everything.
Blast from the Past
Exactly one year ago, Kim was brutally beaten to death by three women, two of which have been found guilty & are serving out their 6 year sentences. It’s shocking that these women were responsible for the death of a human being, but will serve less time in prison than someone caught trafficking marijuana. While her family & friends are outraged by the slap on the wrist these women received, many are also relieved her assailants were brought to “justice.” Her death & high profile case garnered a lot of attention & frustration concerning the bystander effect–a large crowd of people witnessed her beating, many did nothing–& bullying. Kim was blamed by her attackers’ attorneys for the events that led up to her death, but I find that it’s a straw man argument, akin to blaming women for getting raped due to their “poor decisions” for drinking alcohol or wearing a “provocative” dress. No woman goes out for drinks hoping to get raped, just as Kim did not go out drinking with her friends asking for a fight that’d lead to her death. Her story was featured on Dr. Phil, highlighting the cruel nature of bystanders who would rather film, jeer, & laugh while being entertaining by 3 girls attacking 1 on the ground rather than jumping in to help. I don’t think Kim’s “poor decisions” led to her death, 3 girls & a crowd of useless people led to her death.
With all of that being said, I bring to you a recipe created with Kim in mind. My Miso Shirataki Noodle Soup recipe is dedicated in honor of Kim’s memory & her love of noodle soups. She had a memorable laugh, a contagious smile, & hilarious “what-the-what” faces. She was feisty, sassy, yet sweet & thoughtful. She had a thirst for life, adventure, & an appetite for knowledge, fun, & delicious sustenance. She stood up for what she believed in & defended her friends. Kim’s death left many of us heartbroken, but her memories will always leave our hearts warmer. I still see Kim in my dreams sometimes, making the reality of waking consciousness painful. If there’s one thing I know for certain about Kim, it’s that she wouldn’t want us to be crying into our bowls of soup; she’d want us to be happy, healthy, & satiated. We all love & miss you so much, Kim.
Miso Shirataki Noodle Soup
New Recipe
P.S. I ambitiously wanted to post 3 recipes today, but lacked natural light due to the winter sun. I’ll post the other two when I get a chance & they’ll come with a funny Kim story.
First off, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I came across Kim’s death in the news and had no idea that a blogger I’ve followed actually was good friends with her. </3
I think it's absolutely thoughtful for you to pay tribute with this recipe in honor of your friend. I'm sure that wherever Kim may be, she would want everyone to enjoy this delicious soup you've come up with.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Kristine. I had no idea you followed me! I appreciate the time you took to read my post, it means a lot to me. Kim’s story spread worldwide. It’s sadly another example of how terrible the bystander effect cost another life. I hope that those that come across Kim’s story will be compelled to do something the next time they see something like this happen.
Wow, I’m so sorry about your friend. I had no idea that had happened, and I’m pretty horrified by the whole thing. X_X;
I think what you’re doing here, creating recipes based on your friend, is a very sweet thing. It’s definitely a good foodie thing to do. I look forward to your funny Kim story!
Thanks for your sympathy, it is greatly appreciated! 🙂
I’m speechless, Tiffany. I can’t believe a person can die this way. Those girls and all the people who didn’t not help Kim acted inhumanely, like crazy animals.
I agree, they were indeed inhumane. They kicked her repeatedly when she was on the ground. Ruthless.
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. What a shocking story. 6 years is absolutely nothing for taking someone’s life away. I don’t see how that is justice.
Food brings people together and I think creating a dish in Kim’s memory is a sweet reminder of your friendship. It’s lovely that you have so many photos and memories that will remain with you forever.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post, Holly. I really appreciate it. There’s also a possibility they’ll be released early if they behave well in prison. Felt like her trial was amateur hour. There’s really nothing we can do about what happened. No matter how long the sentencing, it’ll never bring Kim back. What’s done is done & we must learn to move on & learn from what happened. Do something that’ll give your life purpose, so if you for some reason had an untimely death, people would look back & say you made a difference.
I’m having deja vu right now. If I recall correctly, you mentioned Kim not long after the incident. I remember thinking, “Interesting. I had never thought that this famous case hit impacted someone I follow.” It’s just not something one would expect from virtual worlds away…I can only imagine how much it affected you.
Having said all that, I am sorry that this had to happen. There’s this Japanese saying that the deceased will continue living for as long as their memories live on. Your dedication to Kim is a respectful one, incorporating the abstract concept into this recipe. You’ve certainly put a lot of thought into it [like you always do!]. Kim is very fortunate to have had you as her dear friend. 🙂 Stay strong. *Hugs*
Yes, you’re absolutely correct. I wrote about Kim last year shortly after the incident occurred. It hit a lot of us pretty hard, especially her father, siblings, her significant other, two of my girlfriends, who were Kim’s best friends. You expect to see your friends grow old, have kids or travel the world, or live a long life. Her untimely death was very infuriating, especially to those who were there & tried to stop it from happening.
Thank you for your sincere condolences. I really like that Japanese proverb & I’ve mentioned it a few times to my friends, although I didn’t know it was a Japanese proverb at the time. Kim was an organ donor & although we lost her, she helped save 5 people in her passing. She would’ve been really touched that her single life saved 5 others.
I remember you wrote about Kim before, and I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 The story makes me really sad. It’s sad to see someone lose a friend, and to know that her death was preventable if people had helped her. The victim blaming angers me though. Like you said, it happens often in rape cases, and I feel like who threw the first punch is irrelevant. There’s a difference between defending yourself and beating someone to death. It’s ridiculous that they only got 6 year sentences. I just hope this continues to haunt and harm them down the road.
I think that’s really thoughtful and sweet to dedicate a recipe to her, especially one that she would like 🙂 Also, I really like how you decorated the photos with carrot shavings on the table. Your food photos are always so pretty!
Thanks for reading her story, Cat. I appreciate your sentiments; the whole thing was infuriating. It’s not that her friends weren’t helpful either, they tried to help, but got stuck in other fights with people…& then the crowd wasn’t doing anything. Can’t do anything to change the past, but I hope this inspires people to speak out & do something in the future if they ever see something like this happening. One of attackers has a son, so it will definitely haunt them. I don’t think they really thought they were responsible for killing her until they were found guilty.
Also, thanks for the compliments! 🙂 It took me a stupid amount of time to get the carrot shavings to look the way I wanted them to haha. Always trying to improve my food photography game, so any constructive feedback is welcome. 🙂
I remember when I first heard about Kim, I was so shocked. And hearing it coming from your end, I honestly felt for you so so much. The behaviour of those girls was inexcusable, and I wish they could get a lot more for what they did, because Kim didn’t deserve it. I am just so appalled that no one at all stepped in to help or even stop what was going on, it was a thousand times worse that some of them were actually recording the incident on their phones. People sicken me sometimes. 🙁
I do however love the dish you created in Kim’s memory. If I lived over there I think we would have all been great foodie friends 🙂
Totally forgot to reply to your email, girly! I’ll get back to you soon. I had a midterm so I was kind of ignoring everyone, MY MISTAKE.
I agree. I found out that there was a doctor & a nurse on the scene inside of the lounge, wanting to help, but the security guard wouldn’t let them leave to help. For legal reasons, I’m assuming, but they could’ve saved her life had the security guard just let them. That’s also really frustrating because countless times she wouldn’t have suffered her tragic fate, but things just didn’t work in her favor. Her friends tried to stop what was happening, but they got wound up in separate fights that it was kind of a mess. No one blames them though, one of her friends broke his arm & another got a black eye trying to help. Those that were standing in line…they’re equally at fault. Standing idly by & filming is likened to condoning the brutality that happened.
Thank you! We all certainly loved to eat. Still do. 🙂
This delicious dish is a fitting tribute to a friend you hold so dear in your heart. I’m sorry for your loss and cannot even imagine the pain you felt after losing such a close friend. It’s horrifying to hear what the defense attorney had to say about your friend and no one goes out seeking that type of treatment from anyone. I hope everyone close to her, including yourself, have received closure from the incident. It’s so nice to see that someone can turn something so negative into something positive. It’s very sweet and thoughtful that you crafted a recipe in her honor. 🙂
Thank you, Christa, your sentiments are greatly appreciated. I acknowledge that the defense attorneys were doing their job, but what they said was indeed horrifying. They did successfully downgrade the initial conviction of second degree murder to felony manslaughter, which meant a shorter sentence. I still can’t believe you can get locked up for less than a decade for killing someone, but heeeeeyyyy that’s justice for you. Un-flippin’-believable.
I remember one of the VP’s at work bringing up the story on Kim, about how people take something too seriously and end up costing someone’s life. And even worse, the news exaggerated the situation, accusing someone of doing ABC when it’s not true. I’m glad the women got prosecuted and sentenced, though it should’ve been the maximum sentence due to the nature of the situation.
Your dedication looks delicious! I like the type of noodles you used :).
Unfortunately due to California’s manslaughter laws, the defendants could serve prison time for either 3, 6, or 11 years. The judge decided 6 was sufficient, so the maximum sentence would’ve only been 11 years. It’s most unfortunate that this wasn’t a typical manslaughter case. There was intent to harm (who kicks someone in the head without intent to cause serious damage?!?!) & their behavior was reckless, but they weren’t intoxicated. They were in the right state of mind, Kim however, was not. Can’t do anything about it now, the case is closed & we must move on. These women will find it very difficult to get jobs once they’re out. Any employer who googles their name…well, shoot, it’s not going to be pretty.
Thank you! Shirataki noodles are pretty cheap (probably around $0.75 per serving) & healthier than the typical rice noodle (which I love).
This is such a heartbreaking story and an unfortunate example of what’s wrong with our justice system. I’m so sorry for your loss and I can’t even begin to imagine how much pain her family must feel.
It was so sweet of you to dedicate a recipe to her. I’m sure she felt incredibly loved by you and her family and friends while she was here.
Sarah! It’s nice to see you stop by; I appreciate your sincere condolences. It’s important that we learn from this tragedy: if you see something, do something. Standing idly by while something terrible is happening might as well be your fault.
Thanks for reading about Kim’s story, Sarah! I love seeing food bloggers stop by. 🙂
The justice system is unjust, and I really don’t understand how they go about prioritizing situations, because a human life being taken away seems much worse than trafficking marijuana, or something along those lines. I don’t understand how six years can be enough to really get through to someone who killed someone, but…blah. From the looks of the image on the news post, bystanders contributed to the result—and I don’t understand why they weren’t charged as well. So what if she “photobombed”? It’s a freaking picture, and…maybe I’m getting carried away. :s
I’m sorry for your loss. 🙁 I don’t think I came across this story last year; I’ve sort of banned myself from the news.
It’s really important to stay up to date with current affairs, even if they’re really sad. From Charlie Hebdo to the massacre of 2k people in Nigeria, it’s important to know what’s going on in the world. You have the power to do something, to move somebody, to make a difference, don’t shut the world out.
While many people claim that they would do something if they saw something suspicious happening, when it does happen, they do not. It’s terrible & it’s sad to say that it’s human nature to be unconcerned for others if it does not directly affect you. Kim’s assailants were not charged with second degree murder, so it was difficult for them to be charged more than 25 years at that point. Based on forensics, if you cannot pin point who caused the fatal blow, you can’t charge them with murder, even if both of them share equal blame for her death. It’s terrible, but that’s just how it is. Prison isn’t going to be fun, but I think their time in there won’t be very long. 6 years will fly by pretty damn quickly.
Wow, I honestly did not see that coming. I thought, wow, this is such a nostalgic and reminiscent post. The way you describe your friends is so real and authentic. I am so sorry to hear about Kim. It’s so sweet and thoughtful of you to dedicate a recipe to her though. I can’t believe that happened. That is just downright awful. My heart goes out to you and her family, even if it has been a year. <3
Thank you, AnneMarie. I appreciate your sentiments!
Oh awks, that last comment was from me but I forgot to disconnect from an old WordPress of mine. Sorry about that. Also, is this comment box from the JetPack plugin?
It’s all good – I just edited it so that your proper info is there.
Yep, this is the comments plugin from JetPack. I tested it to see if it would have the same issues I had with your comment box, but it looks like it stretches just fine, thankfully!
OMG, I can’t believe that about your friend. Less time in prison for those girls!? That is really not right and I will never understand the legal system. *hugs*
I’m very sorry for your loss. ♥